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I, in no way consider myself an expert on relationships, however I have quite the experience in being single and believe it’s time I share some of the insight that has led me to where I am. To give a short back story: I will turn twenty years old soon and have never dated anyone longer than a first date. I used to be embarrassed by it, but recently I have realized that being single has not only kept me from many heart breaks (not to say that I have never been heartbroken), but has also allotted me the time to grasp wisdom from The Lord and grow closer to the voice of the Holy Spirit. I will never master this topic – it has taken me some time to get the revelation that I have and I am not dim enough to believe that there isn’t more to learn. My prayer is that whoever reads this… old or young, male or female, that you would be able to learn from the experiences that I have gone through, so without further ado here are a few nuggets that God has given me along the way.

1.) Learn to be alone:

There is such a negative cogitation around “being single,” because in our society none of us truly knows how to be alone. In a recent study being alone is in the top twenty most common fears in the world, why is that? I believe it is because we do not understand the full potential in what being single can do.

David is a perfect example of this, he was alone many times before he became King. He was sent out away from his family to tend the sheep, which is where he learned to worship. And was standing alone when he defeated Goliath, while the Israelite’s were in hiding. There are many more times we see David cry out to God and rejoice in His presence while by himself.

As Christians, we know that we are never truly alone. Which is why being alone with Him is so important. When you develop a quiet time to spend with the Lord – unimaginable things can happen. There have been moments in my life where I am sincerely struggling, there are times when I have no desire to pray or worship, and yet the moment I do – He always shows up. God wants to be with you in your time of loneliness, you just have to let him.

2.) Learn who you are:

In my opinion this is one of the most important things we will ever do as believers. You must know who you are – before you can know someone else. How can you ever expect someone to know your value and treat you how you deserve to be treated when you can’t even treat yourself with respect. Every generation that goes by it get worse and worse, we are constantly told that we are not enough and because of that we have begun to believe it.

For women it’s mostly based on our appearance: something is too big, something is too small. Therefore we feel unworthy of love from a man; if somehow we don’t have this perfect ideal hourglass body with big lips, long hair, a full face of makeup and an extensive selection of trendy clothing then suddenly our worth has plummeted.

For men I believe that their insecurities come from not feeling adequate enough.  When a man meets a “wifey material” lady – it can be very intimidating. Suddenly men feel as though they are not capable or worthy enough to treat her the way she deserves to be treated. Whether it be because of emotional pains that are rooted from childhood or financial incapability; men are made to feel like if they don’t have it all together then a women won’t give them the time of day.

When we begin to see ourselves the way Christ sees us, not only do we see a change in ourselves but others begin to see a change in us as well. I like to think of the human race like a piece of artwork: an artist will paint a master piece, but only a few will see it as that. It all comes down to perspective; someone might pass this painting and think it is ugly but the next might think it is beautiful. God is our artist, we were made in His image, and he painted a master piece within us all it just takes the right person to see exactly what He painted.

3.) Learn who He is

As Christians this is something we don’t do enough of… when is the last time you just spent time getting to know Him? Often times we treat Jesus like he is a genie here to grant our wishes, instead of a friend. When we do actually pray, the only thing we do is pray for what we want instead of taking ten to fifteen minutes to glorify His name and listen to what He is saying to us. Multiple times in the bible we see that in order to actually hear God – you must stop the daily routine and listen.

  • Moses had to climb Mount Sinai in order to get the Ten Commandments and the instructions for the tabernacle from God

  • Jacob was on a journey away from what was his home when he wrestled an angel and his name was changed

  • Even Jesus had to separate himself from the disciples in the garden of Gethsemane to pray

Once we understand the value of Jesus Christ – we will be well on our way to seeing our own value. Christ, who not only died for us, but took all of our sins and mistakes to hell with him and defeated death and the devil forever lives inside us. The victor, hero, and savior is on our side – rooting us on and holding our hand as we run our race. When we understand that He is gracious and He is good, then we can begin to see ourselves in His image.

We were not created to be a second option, a side chick, rejected, forgotten, unworthy, incapable, underappreciated… If Jesus Christ wanted us to feel like an option then He wouldn’t have died for all of us. If Jesus doesn’t see you as an option then you should never allow a man or women make you an option.

It’s time that this generation begin to date Jesus. Allow Him to show you the treatment that you deserve from a relationship and then don’t accept anything less. I know the idea of “dating Jesus” can seem odd, but He can be whatever you need Him to be. He is our greatest supporter, our biggest fan, a shoulder to cry. Every feeling that you have ever felt or ever will feel – Jesus himself has felt. He knows you. Take the time to know Him in return and possibilities from there are endless.

With much love,




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